Today was a bad day. So as a recreational activityas well as countermeasure I decided to log onto KGS and play a round of Blitz Go. Very bad idea! As most of you know Blitz is in certain way like smoking or drinking alcohol. Youknow it’s harmful and you have no idea why you’re doing it, but that doesn’t actually stop you from doing it anyway. So I played a Blitz game and of course I lost. At this stage hopefully I don’t have to explain why it was a bad idea to try blitz another game in order to set the balance straight again. Needless to say I lost again. After losing the third game in a row (this time by lag) I was finally frustrated enough to acknowledge that I wouldn’t win any games in my current mood.
The funny thing in Go is that, no matter how good you are, you will always face periods where you just can’t seem to win a game. There was a famous football-coach who said the following:
On the field anyone will taste humiliation once or twice while playing. A player that never suffered from it doesn’t exist. But the first-class players as a tribute to all their efforts will quickly stand up.
The average players will stand up after a while and the losers, will keep lying down on the ground.
[Darells Royal Letter]
I think this fits the problem pretty well. If one imagines just how unimportant Go really is to us. Professional players are under constant pressure, always being forced to evolve as their livelihood depends on it. What more is it to us than just a passtime that holds no meaning to either our wellbeing or anything else.
Later today I went to Zürich to visit a Manga-shop (Jeeg) and to my great pleasure found the latest volume of Hikaru no Go in one of the shelves. Volume 21, the one in which the representatives for the Hokuto Cup are chosen. I couldn’t wait to read it and so on my way home I unwrapped the manga and read it on the train home. It’s hard to explain why, but whenever I’m in a slump, reading Hikaru no Go will help me pull myself together and keep going. Even though the story is pure fiction, seeing how Hikaru struggles for respect and acknowledgement is a great motivation. It also makes think back to my very first visits at a go club when I didn’t even know that something as taisha existed ^^
The lesson learned is:
Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward, towrard finding the answer.